welcome to my balcony
"What I pursue in life is emotional stability, and I don’t think there’s really anything too exciting or sad happening these days." [min yoongi]
hello friend[s],
i very much hope this note makes it to you. my laptop has decided to stop working on and off for the last four days. i have no idea what the issue is.
truth be told, i didn’t realize it was the weekend already. the week went by like honey- slow, slowly, sweet, and golden. it was incredibly hot, reaching a consistent 40+ degrees. needless to say, i did not go many places. my dad turned on our little window air conditioners and i stayed in the cooled rooms.
a quick storm two nights ago finally broke the heat. i turned off the ac, finally opening the window above the sink [[my favourite window.
if i’m being honest, nothing really happened this week. no interesting profound thoughts blossomed— simple existing. a slice of life. let me give you one of mine}}
currently, i am sitting in the backyard\\my back is facing west, to the sun. while i wait for my clothes to finish in the dryer, i’ve painted my nails with a pink glitter polish, i’ve covered my left hand with henna, and i’ve exported photos to make a gift. {the glitter polish is nearing the end of its life. the bottle is empty though i pretend not to notice. i wore this colour almost non-stop a few months ago until it got tied to an unhappy time period. now though, it seems to have dulled down and i once again can wear this colour without memories}. {i’ve mixed two types of henna. together they make a picture on my hands. one of flowers and leaves and spots. i am not good at henna but i don’t mind}. {i have been looking through the photos i have taken this summer of my kids. i want to put them together with captions for their parents. it’s repetitive, [walking, playing, dancing, eating] but it’s how the summer was spent. it makes me happily sad}.
i’ve stopped writing to pick and eat some blissfully ripe golden raspberries. inside, my family is scattered around my house. someone is sitting just inside the house, i imagine my dad is in the living room. i’m not sure about the others. my little sister’s girlfriend brought me brownies today [[a thanks for helping her scheme for a surprise date]]. they are to die for. i’ll ask for the recipe. if she gives it to me, i will comment it under this note. would you like some?
i am writing too fast for my laptop to keep up. i simply write, not knowing if there are typos or sense. it feels like i’m talking. as i wait for the text to slowly present itself, i watch the garden. my dad has created something beautiful in our little backyard. every inch is covered in a plant [he used to say if something is not edible, it has no place in our garden. slowly, flowers have appeared. beauty as a purpose. i see a white butterfly, one fat bumblebee, countless ants, a cicada must be somewhere, myself. i can name almost every plant i can see. i imagine what plants i will buy for my new apartment, which herbs i will miss the most. i am taking a piece of the bay tree. it is as old as i can remember || my favourite. once again, i am blissful over the thought of my new balcony. _____’s dad says it does not look very structurally sound, we don’t care.
there’s something awfully romantic about balconies, isn’t there? an extension of a living space, welcoming the outdoors. an act of resilience against the concept of “privacy” [that is, not personal, but removed from others]. a laugh at suburbia. my sister’s room faces the street, when i look outside the window, more likely than not i see at least one person sitting on their balcony or porch, waiting for absolutely nothing. sometimes having a smoke, sometimes watching, always quiet. balconies are the sweetest place to be in limbo. i will put bay leaves on mine. a silent nod towards a backyard porch which will be thousands of km away. some of you who read this will one day come to my balcony [[i hope you gently take the bay leaf between your fingers, rubbing them together. let the smell surround you. silently]].
august.
i think my laundry is done, my hands are dry, the crown of my head is warm. before i leave you for this week, i’d like to show you some various pieces of art. i’d like to give you some music. i’d like to give you a brownie.
and i’d like to ask you a question.
did you take time for yourself over the week? the theme of last week was slow. did you? i think right now is my slow. tell me, what was yours? if you’d like to tell me, just respond to my note. i’d like a slice of your life, if you want to share a piece. we can eat well together.
take care of yourself, have love. feel the last of the warm, warm rays of sunlight, eat something grown close by. let time pass by like honey. i love you.
xx delphi
this playlist has been on repeat, especially teneriffa
the entire kiki’s delivery service album
and tomorrow x together’s full discography
i’ve been doing quite a bit of lazing and napping on my family’s couches because i know i won’t be able to for much longer