that slow burn wait while it gets dark
a collage of paintings and words, my evening walk, and the joys of live music
hello, my friend[s],
happy sunday, i can’t believe she’s come to greet us so soon. this week has flown by for me in a haze of fog, sun, rain, and moon. the air is moving between warm days and cold days.
it’s 7:03 pm i’m sitting on my couch with a cup of tea [two sugars and usually a bit of milk, but we’ve run out. i put in a dash of creamer] and some cinnamon sugar toast [i don’t have ground cinnamon so i took some cinnamon bark to the grater and thankfully it worked. for now, i’ll still have to rely on others for ground cinnamon]. the dishwasher is making noise, it’s filled mostly with cups and mugs which have been used for copious amounts of alcohol and tea this weekend. i’m listening to some music [good fall time tunes, songs that make me feel like i’m drinking water].
strangely, i’m not very sleepy right now. the reason this note is coming to you so late is because i went to sleep at 9:30 am and woke up at about 3 pm/. last night/morning was the bts permission to dance online concert which i had tickets to so, of course, i couldn’t be asleep. for the first time, we got soundcheck tickets. now, soundcheck started at 3 am my time— and i was out until 2:50 am…..//// i got home, quickly washed the makeup off my face, put on comfy clothes, and texted my darling armys e and f, letting them know i was ready to go. after the soundcheck, we all set alarms for three hours from then and had a quick nap.
i absolutely love online concerts. i love how people can join from their homes. i love that there are hundreds of thousands more people that can watch. i love that we can all connect through one thing and share the same moment. every time something interesting happened, i got a text about it at the same time i went to send one.
it was nice to hear old and new songs again.
i walked down to the ocean today. from outside my window i could see the beautiful sunset and i needed to follow it. i had just gotten out of the shower, within seven minutes i was outside, going down west. i was listening to a world alone by lorde which has one of my favourite opening lines in the world
that slow burn wait while it gets dark
which felt oh so deliciously fitting. it took about 15 minutes to reach the water where i stood, simply inhaling. god, i love breathing air in. isn’t it incredible that can breathe in as much as we want? cold salty air filled my lungs and i felt so alive.
i’ve spent the last week looking at paintings and words. here are some of my favourites that i want to share with you.
I want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love. I am still so naive; I know pretty much what I like and dislike; but please, don't ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?
by sylvia plath.
Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -
A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?
the swan poem by mary oliver
You make I to an O
I to an O
Because of you
I know why human and love sound similar
You make live to a love
Live to a love
Because of you
I know why a person should live by love
It's a long way from I to U
Fuck, JKLMNOPQRST
I crossed all the letters and I reached you
Look, mine and yours also sound the same
Though that doesn't make me you
I want to be part of your bookcase
I'd like to be involved in your novel
As a lover
trvia: love by BTS [[these lyrics are some of the most beautiful in the world, please read this translation and explanation by doolset]]
"That's okay," ____ whispers, snuggling up to
____, his hand finding ___’s under the
covers, eyes closing. "You're a really kind lover, you
know that?"
by only mariel
it’s 9:19 now, we’ve eaten dinner, we’re watching a show, i’m somehow getting sleepy again. the dishwasher is done. a quick grocery shop happened. now, homework begins.
i know there aren’t many words by me in this note but these are words that make me a bit different. maybe next week will be words formed because of these. different stages of thought.
i had a lovely week spending so much time with people i love. we danced and walked and cuddled and listened. i go to the library, i make new friends. i laugh as much as i can. i hope you spent time with people you love and who love you back. laugh and open your heart to the world. i’ll be here next week on [[[[[halloweennnnn]]]]]]. take care of yourself, i love you. eat well?
all my love,
xx delphi
p.s.
minisode1: blue hour by tomorrow x together
autumn leaves by bts
strawberry moon by IU
blood by the middle east
meet me at our spot (live) by willow, tyler cole, the anxiety