hello, my friend[s],
in two days it will be the winter solstice. the shortest day of the year with a sleepy sleep sun. in three days, the sun will begin its slow awakening. winter begins with light. it’s funny that we think of it as the darkest months. after all, snow reflects light so well. with the cold, we get warmth. what a lovely balance of things.
it’s 3:01 pm and i’m back home for the holidays. i’m writing this note on a desktop computer which is strange, to say the least. at the other end of the table, my sister is studying for her last exam. my eldest sister sits on the beloved kitchen chair with my youngest sister chatting to her while making a coffee. p is laying down on the couch at the back of the house, my dad is behind me sitting on the couch at the front of the house. we’re all doing our own activities but we’re all listening to the same east coast christmas music. we’re all smelling the same coffee. we’re all in the same house.
the sun is already halfway to darkness despite the fact that we’ve only been awake for three hours. i don’t mind though, darkness means cuddles and dinner. pots of tea and the cookies we made last night. what a lovely balance of things.
//////
a few years ago i went to see conan gray at one of his live concerts. this was in 2019 when the only music he had out was his sunset season ep. at this show, he performed a then unreleased song titled comfort crowd. my favourite lines go
We rot, thinkin' lots about nothing
Yeah, I could spend a lifetime
Sitting here talkin'
which talk about the contentment of simply existing with someone you love. my main love language is quality time. there’s not much i love more than spending the afternoon with someone just for the sake of spending an afternoon together. it’s also my family’s top love language. growing up, i never understood why some of my friends would have family game nights- why would you need to organize time together? for us, we were lucky enough for it to come naturally. but we’ve all grown up. being back at home for a few short weeks, this is more present than ever. we no longer have a shared household and thus endless time. now it’s something to be cherished. now i hold it in my hand and kiss it each morning and each night as thanks.
the first day i got home, the four of us at home all sat on the same couch meant for two, despite having three levels of rooms to go to. close close close together to make up for the months we lost.
still life paintings have become one of my favourite types of paintings. i used to find them a bit boring if i’m being honest. i would paint them in art classes quickly and without much thought. i would add shadows and highlights to apples and call it a day. now, though, i can’t seem to get enough of them. still life paintings of fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, flowers and cups. human items. sometimes messy and cluttered but sometimes with a main subject. what’s interesting is that the term still life came from the dutch word still level. in french and italian, it is translated to mean dead nature. the very definition of still life then alludes to something without life, without movement – an inanimate object.
i find it interesting that despite this basic definition, when i see still life paintings, all i see is life. plants that breath air, skulls of a once alive being, pottery created by warm hands, food eaten to give life. life being breathed. some still life paintings symbolize the passing of time. life being gone or almost gone. i think these are two sides of the same coin.
+
i went into a small gallery last week to find a print for a christmas present. i found this painting.
i saw it and giggled. then i wrote this on my phone: paintings of food- food loves you so dearly it keeps you alive- painting portraits like they are your lover. isn’t love a funny thing? that it can even be placed onto the context of a garlic painting. i don’t think still life paintings are necessarily made with the intention of drawing out love as an emotion. but i suppose a painter can’t control the emotions of the viewer. they can only spark it. there i was, standing in front of a garlic painting and thinking about lovers.
what do you think?
i still sometimes paint still life paintings. no longer in art classes, instead, at the dining room table. thinking about it, i take still life pictures. unstructured, no posing, no main subject. to capture what my desk and my bedside table and my kitchen table look like at that moment. capturing that passage of time. all the ones i have no longer exist. and yet, there’s life in them. funny, isn’t it? are these actual still life works of art? i don’t know- they probably aren’t. but i like them anyways. i give myself quite a few stretches under the excuse of having the poetic license. i can’t wait to spend the rest of my day reading more about what still life paintings /are/. i have absolutely no idea.
it’s 4:41 pm and everyone in the house has rotated. now there are three people being me in the living room [funny enough, they’re retaking the love languages quiz for the hundredth time], someone in the kitchen chair, someone in the back of the house. we’re still listening to the east coast christmas music though.
don’t let the darkness take you down, it’s almost at its end. light some candles, go under blankets, read some books, look at some still life paintings. let the darkness roll over you and give you comfort. enjoy the last of what this year wants to give you. be kind, i love you. love a little extra.
xx delphi
p.s. things i have been enjoying lately
the daily new york times crossword [so fun!! it’s fun to do with a group of people to combine your knowledge. i pinky promise it’s not as hard as it seems. don’t be afraid to google answers! the whole point is to learn. do that however you like :)]
a mineral love by bibio
paintings by claude monet [i keep looking at online galleries] (specifically winter themed ones)
poems from evidence by mary oliver
specifically we shake with joy; to begin with, the sweet grass; mysteries, yes; at the river clarion