For some reason, there were some artichokes on the discount rack.
on the struggles of online visits, eating on a budget, and hearing the wind.
hello friend[s],
i’m sitting at my table and i’ve been here for about two hours, trying to figure out how to say what i want to say. my cup was filled with chai but it’s empty now. there’s a plate with only a few crumbs remaining from my cookies. i’ve been scrunching up and flattening the same piece of paper to make it soft. i was just video calling my sister because i miss[ed] home and being around people. having a phone and internet makes me feel silly for being lonesome. it’s the easiest time to talk to the person you want to and yet, it doesn’t quite cut it. i can’t hear their breathing, i can’t hope their arm will land on my thigh, i can’t wonder if our heartbeats have synched yet.
i visited my mom’s blog. she kept it for about three years up until she couldn’t anymore, originally to document our travels. but it was always more- her way to update her friends while consistently writing [which she loved to do]. i love reading this blog because it’s my mom as n, not as mom. (for more thoughts on this that i don’t want to create). it’s her swearing, poking fun of herself, and sharing what went good and what went bad over the week. it’s my mom as a friend.
there was a week that she posted daily about what we ate to share how we eat good food for cheap. she titled this series “how to eat on basically no dollars per day”. i just got to a part where she’s talking about some artichokes.
Serve meal with artichokes you bought off the reduced rack on Tuesday. A tossed green salad rounds out the meal. When artichokes are in season in the spring/early summer we eat them a lot. I am a big fan of foods you get to manhandle to eat – like lobster and artichokes and pomegranates. For some reason, there were some artichokes on the discount rack. My aversion to throwing out food and my mania for good deals had me dancing with glee.
it makes me giggle because that got passed down to me. i love food that’s awful and difficult to eat- like oysters and leeks and pomegranates. i also love a good deal. i did a big grocery shop when i finally got back to my apartment and i told everyone who would listen about how i saved $40.
Alternatively, you can cut the artichokes in half (lengthwise) and pull out the spiky inner leaves. Scoop the choke out of each half and they are good to go. The advantages of this method: less waste if someone can’t eat a whole artichoke, safer for young children since the choke is already gone, makes the artichokes more compact so you can cram them into a Tupperware better. Disadvantage: not as messy to eat.
now i have a craving for artichokes and a desire to become just like fantastic daisy artichoke.
confession: sometimes i watch youtube videos of people reading out my favourite books from when i was a child. it’s absolutely not the same as being 6 and sitting on the floor of the local library but god it’s better than not reliving the books. the last one i watched was miss. rumphius by barbra cooney. in it, miss. rumphius travels the world to see as many beautiful things as she can. she has had a goal to make the world a more beautiful place but can’t find anything to do because the world is already so beautiful. as an old old woman, she throws flower seeds around her village and the next spring, flowers bloom for everyone to see. my favourite part was the illustrations and the way that the book was wider than it was tall. i liked how it made my mom’s voice thick when she read it.
that was also why i loved ferdinand the bull. the book was shaped funny. he just liked to sit under a cork tree and smell flowers and listen to the little bells hung in the tree.
did you know that one use of wind chimes is to fend off evil spirits and bring in good ones? i’m glad ferdinand was safe under his tree [until the bee came…]
back in my family home, my bedroom was the one all the way to the left, at the top of the stairs, on the second floor. the window looked out to the side/back of the house and i could see a tree from the window in a neighbour’s backyard. on the ground level of the house, there’s a wind chime hanging from an eve. there’s a bamboo windchime suspended from the garage. during the summer if i was lucky and it was quiet, i could lay on my bed around 6 o’clock and watch the sunset slide off my wall. through the open window, i could hear the wind chimes and wind rustling through the leaves of the backyard tree. sometimes i’d hear birds or bugs, or someone talking outside, or a sibling swinging from the swing hanging off of the fire escape.
in my apartment now, we have a shell wind chime in the shape of butterflies in our kitchen. when the window is open, the wind picks it up and it makes the prettiest sound. sometimes my hair gets caught in it if i get too close. i like making my hair laugh. sometimes i touch the chime so i can feel its company.
i recently received a new windchime. a handmade clay one. it’s getting shipped to me now and i can’t wait to hear it. maybe one day i’ll get a little bell for ferdinand. The honey-like scent I inhaled in On my cheeks a couple of tears fell down I didn't know why I felt this way although it was weird although it was a little sad I somehow cried because it was so sweet. from here.
in the romantic idea that you’ll hear bells when you meet your soulmate, i think i’d hear a wind chime tinkle instead of a door opening ring. if i’m very lucky.
i hope you get very lucky and hear the wind blow through trees, or the sound of snow, or a bird’s wings just as they leave the ground. i hope you get very lucky and you make the world a more beautiful place. i hope you sit under your favourite tree just to smell the flowers.
all my love,
xx delphi
"Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I:
But when the trees bow down their heads,
The wind is passing by. Who has seen the
wind? Neither I nor you: But when the leaves
hang trembling, The wind is passing
through.”
p.s. to keep you company
p.p.s. exactly what i’ve looked like during my many, many hours of recent solitude.
oh delfi. im listening to your playlist as i write this comment and re-read ur words. am currently listening to the playlist u linked at the end to keep me company. im feeling very loved, the playlist was very loving, thank u dear. im listening to "honey tea" rn and ik its not important, but i just thought u should know T^T. ur words, too, are very love filled. they have the essence of someone who has lived and loved a hundred times over. like the words you write are familiar with u. I've been reading and have come to reflect many things. the familiarity of being loved and the kindness of sunsets. the never ending loving of home, the longing of loved ones and oh the sweet tinkling of a wind chime as it dances in the wind. delfi bear ill admit a little secret to you too, i listen to my favorite little fairytales n youtube too. its comforting, like its a little piece of my childhood holding my heart. this becoming a very big paragraph of word vomit but. one day ill make u some artichoke filled manhandle-able food, too. love u little bear. please eat well and love some for me (i love u)